Mark Twain: A lie can travel halfway around the world while the truth is still putting on its shoes.
I don't want to brag or make you jealous, but I can still fit into the earrings I wore in high school.
The happiest people don't have the best of everything; they just make the best of everything they have.
The older I get the more I don't care if I fit in with everyone else.
Having a smoking section in a restaurant is like having a peeing section in a pool.
I would rather go to jail for spanking my kids, than for them to go because I didn't.
Inside me lives a skinny woman crying to get out...but I can usually shut the bitch up with cookies.
Marriage is a relationship where one person is always right, and the other is the husband.
"Blessed is he who has learned to laugh at himself, for he shall never cease to be entertained." John Bowell
Quote of the Day: When you come to a fork in the road, take it.
"LIFE" is like a role of toilet paper, the closer to the end, the faster it goes!
Sings the praises of the power of a smile that is not constrained by the boundaries of the lips but instead commands the entire countenance!
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help. Ronald Reagan
Be the kind of woman that when your feet hit the floor each morning the Devil says, "oh crap she's up!"
Monday, October 4, 2010
Saturday, August 7, 2010
FACEBOOK STATUS UPDATES 5
Shhhh! Be vewy vewy quiet....we're hunting waterfalls!
likes If you're talking behind my back, you're in a good position to kiss my ass!!!
Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory." Albert Schweitzer - and I would add the discipline of thanking God in all circumstances.
bought a studfinder today at Lowe's . . . the kind you use on walls . . . maybe one day they'll invent the other kind.
"Regret is an appalling waste of energy, you can't build on it; it's only good for wallowing in." Katherine Mansfield (Ouch!)
I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.
is trying not to act too eager to drop off my son at Parent's Night Out, but thinks the fact that she showed up 15 minutes early gives it away.
We would worry less about what others thought of us if we knew how seldom they actually do.
I've read the last page of the Bible. It's all going to turn out all right. ~ Billy Graham.
You can never have a Christian mind w/o reading the Bible regularly b/c you can't be influenced by what you do not know.. Kent Hughes
Wants to know why people that don't want to do right call people that do "hypocrites"
My kid sold your HONOR STUDENT the answers to the test
I also have been guilty of not fully helping white farmers.
Off to the dermatologist's to have some spots checked: they are circled on my arms, chest, and legs with a Sharpie marker. IMAGINE the odd looks I'm in for when I go shopping afterwards!
the nice part about living in a small town is that when you don't know what you are doing, someone else does~♥
Dear Jesus, concerning my mansion in heaven that you are preparing for me, may I please request a maid (mainly to dust and clean the bathrooms) and a secretary to help me file all my piles? Thank you for considering my request! Love, HH
likes If you're talking behind my back, you're in a good position to kiss my ass!!!
Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory." Albert Schweitzer - and I would add the discipline of thanking God in all circumstances.
bought a studfinder today at Lowe's . . . the kind you use on walls . . . maybe one day they'll invent the other kind.
"Regret is an appalling waste of energy, you can't build on it; it's only good for wallowing in." Katherine Mansfield (Ouch!)
I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.
is trying not to act too eager to drop off my son at Parent's Night Out, but thinks the fact that she showed up 15 minutes early gives it away.
We would worry less about what others thought of us if we knew how seldom they actually do.
I've read the last page of the Bible. It's all going to turn out all right. ~ Billy Graham.
You can never have a Christian mind w/o reading the Bible regularly b/c you can't be influenced by what you do not know.. Kent Hughes
Wants to know why people that don't want to do right call people that do "hypocrites"
My kid sold your HONOR STUDENT the answers to the test
I also have been guilty of not fully helping white farmers.
Off to the dermatologist's to have some spots checked: they are circled on my arms, chest, and legs with a Sharpie marker. IMAGINE the odd looks I'm in for when I go shopping afterwards!
the nice part about living in a small town is that when you don't know what you are doing, someone else does~♥
Dear Jesus, concerning my mansion in heaven that you are preparing for me, may I please request a maid (mainly to dust and clean the bathrooms) and a secretary to help me file all my piles? Thank you for considering my request! Love, HH
Sunday, June 27, 2010
FACEBOOK STATUS UPDATES 4
"Our necessities are few but our wants are endless." H. W. Shaw
what is the point of going to the Y if you eat strawberry shortcake AND a honey bun all in one afternoon?
Cranky children + homework = frustrated mom!
No two Christians will ever meet for the last time
There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: It is the courage to continue that counts.”
― Winston Churchill
Lack of coffe May not KILL you, but why take any chances!!!
see I cant even spell without a cup!! of Coffee
Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
"With some people even their roosters seem to lay eggs." Russian Proverb
Does anyone remember the slogan on the marquee at Miller's Laundry? "Ladies who drop off their clothes at Millers receive special attention." STILL cracks me up!
"Finish every day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be cumbered with your old nonsense. This day is all that is good and fair. It is too dear, with its hopes and invitations, to waste a moment on yesterdays." Emerson
what is the point of going to the Y if you eat strawberry shortcake AND a honey bun all in one afternoon?
Cranky children + homework = frustrated mom!
No two Christians will ever meet for the last time
There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: It is the courage to continue that counts.”
― Winston Churchill
Lack of coffe May not KILL you, but why take any chances!!!
see I cant even spell without a cup!! of Coffee
Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
"With some people even their roosters seem to lay eggs." Russian Proverb
Does anyone remember the slogan on the marquee at Miller's Laundry? "Ladies who drop off their clothes at Millers receive special attention." STILL cracks me up!
"Finish every day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be cumbered with your old nonsense. This day is all that is good and fair. It is too dear, with its hopes and invitations, to waste a moment on yesterdays." Emerson
Sunday, May 30, 2010
FACEBOOK STATUS UPDATES 3
Catch a man a fish and you can sell it to him. Teach a man to fish, and you ruin a wonderful business opportunity.
Ahhhhhhh.....the sound of me getting a pedicure.
thinks she will wait a while to say what she is thinking.... and maybe something nice will formulate.
It's better to have loved and lost.......than to have stayed with an idiot.
Resist the devil & he will flee from you...haven't eaten any donuts so far but its not easy.
With time, women gain weight because we accumulate so much information & wisdom in our heads that when there is no more room, it distributes out to the rest our bodies. So we aren't heavy, we are enormously cultured, educated & happy. Beginning today, when I look at my butt in the mirror I will think, Good Grief~look ...how smart I am.
"You can't go to church, as some people say, common terminology we use every day, you can go to the chapel, you can sit in the pew, but you can't go to church, BECAUSE THE CHURCH IS YOU!"--Lyrics from Accapella. NOW, tell me again how the CHURCH has let you down?.....
u kno that little orange light in the car that comes on when ur gas is low...? well that is a PRETTY GOOD INDICATOR that u should GET GAS VERY SOON! yes, folks. i did it again. :(
Now will everyone quit comparing LeBron to Jordan for awhile? Call me when you`ve won a championship, or six.
A true friend doesn't care if you're broke,when your house is a mess, about your past, or if your family is filledwith crazies...they love you for who you are. A true friend can go longperiods of time without speaking and never question the friendship.
Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about themselves, small people talk about others.
If we don’t change the direction we are headed, we will end up where we are going. -- Chinese Proverb
Saw a sign advertising "Dog Waste Removal". If someone is making $$ on this, I want a piece of that action. Tools: shovel and a bucket.
Kobe > LeBron...And it ain't even close folks.
I feel compelled to add to the above status update. Kobe > LeBron > you guys are not even close to M Jordan.
OK. The rains come, and the grass grows. Unless I plan to call RENT-A-GOAT, I'd better get out there with the mower!
Just wondering why common sense is so uncommon.
feels at peace, so something must be really wrong.
Those who write the histories spin it anyway they want. Never forget that.
Behind every good man, there is a good woman. And behind every good woman, there's another man looking at her butt.
is pretty sure she needs to get in a better mood before she has to deal with anyone today.
"I'm a nobody that's tryin to tell everybody 'bout Sombody that can save anybody." Denver Moore
We do not stop playing because we are old; we grow old because we stop playing.
Ahhhhhhh.....the sound of me getting a pedicure.
thinks she will wait a while to say what she is thinking.... and maybe something nice will formulate.
It's better to have loved and lost.......than to have stayed with an idiot.
Resist the devil & he will flee from you...haven't eaten any donuts so far but its not easy.
With time, women gain weight because we accumulate so much information & wisdom in our heads that when there is no more room, it distributes out to the rest our bodies. So we aren't heavy, we are enormously cultured, educated & happy. Beginning today, when I look at my butt in the mirror I will think, Good Grief~look ...how smart I am.
"You can't go to church, as some people say, common terminology we use every day, you can go to the chapel, you can sit in the pew, but you can't go to church, BECAUSE THE CHURCH IS YOU!"--Lyrics from Accapella. NOW, tell me again how the CHURCH has let you down?.....
u kno that little orange light in the car that comes on when ur gas is low...? well that is a PRETTY GOOD INDICATOR that u should GET GAS VERY SOON! yes, folks. i did it again. :(
Now will everyone quit comparing LeBron to Jordan for awhile? Call me when you`ve won a championship, or six.
A true friend doesn't care if you're broke,when your house is a mess, about your past, or if your family is filledwith crazies...they love you for who you are. A true friend can go longperiods of time without speaking and never question the friendship.
Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about themselves, small people talk about others.
If we don’t change the direction we are headed, we will end up where we are going. -- Chinese Proverb
Saw a sign advertising "Dog Waste Removal". If someone is making $$ on this, I want a piece of that action. Tools: shovel and a bucket.
Kobe > LeBron...And it ain't even close folks.
I feel compelled to add to the above status update. Kobe > LeBron > you guys are not even close to M Jordan.
OK. The rains come, and the grass grows. Unless I plan to call RENT-A-GOAT, I'd better get out there with the mower!
Just wondering why common sense is so uncommon.
feels at peace, so something must be really wrong.
Those who write the histories spin it anyway they want. Never forget that.
Behind every good man, there is a good woman. And behind every good woman, there's another man looking at her butt.
is pretty sure she needs to get in a better mood before she has to deal with anyone today.
"I'm a nobody that's tryin to tell everybody 'bout Sombody that can save anybody." Denver Moore
We do not stop playing because we are old; we grow old because we stop playing.
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Disadvantages & Advantages
Getting older has some disadvantages such as memory loss. In fact my memory was getting so bad that I could not remember what day of the week it was. I guess it is natural as we age that we seem to take more and more medication and this is where the advantage comes in, because we have pill boxes with the day of the week on them so we are reminded every morning and evening what day it is. I purposely fill my boxes up on Fridays - that way I know when the weekend is coming and I can start getting excited. Life is GOOD!!!!
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
The Silent Sermon!
A member of a certain church, who previously had been attending services regularly, stopped going. After a few weeks, the pastor decided to visit him.
It was a chilly evening. The pastor found the man at home alone, sitting before a blazing fire. Guessing the reason for his pastor's visit, the man welcomed him, led him to a comfortable chair near the fireplace and waited.
The pastor made himself at home but said nothing. In the grave silence, he contemplated the dance of the flames around the burning logs. After some minutes, the pastor took the fire tongs, carefully picked up a brightly burning ember and placed it to one side of the hearth all alone then he sat back in his chair, still silent.
The host watched all this in quiet contemplation. As the one lone ember's flame flickered and diminished, there was a momentary glow and then its fire was no more. Soon it was cold and dead.
Not a word had been spoken since the initial greeting. The pastor glanced at his watch and realized it was time to leave. He slowly stood up, picked up the cold, dead ember and placed it back in the middle of the fire. Immediately it began to glow, once more with the light and warmth of the burning coals around it.
As the pastor reached the door to leave, his host said with a tear running down his cheek, 'Thank you so much for your visit and especially for the firey sermon. I will be back in church next Sunday'.
We live in a world today, which tries to say too much with too little. Consequently, few listen. Sometimes the best sermons are the ones left unspoken
It was a chilly evening. The pastor found the man at home alone, sitting before a blazing fire. Guessing the reason for his pastor's visit, the man welcomed him, led him to a comfortable chair near the fireplace and waited.
The pastor made himself at home but said nothing. In the grave silence, he contemplated the dance of the flames around the burning logs. After some minutes, the pastor took the fire tongs, carefully picked up a brightly burning ember and placed it to one side of the hearth all alone then he sat back in his chair, still silent.
The host watched all this in quiet contemplation. As the one lone ember's flame flickered and diminished, there was a momentary glow and then its fire was no more. Soon it was cold and dead.
Not a word had been spoken since the initial greeting. The pastor glanced at his watch and realized it was time to leave. He slowly stood up, picked up the cold, dead ember and placed it back in the middle of the fire. Immediately it began to glow, once more with the light and warmth of the burning coals around it.
As the pastor reached the door to leave, his host said with a tear running down his cheek, 'Thank you so much for your visit and especially for the firey sermon. I will be back in church next Sunday'.
We live in a world today, which tries to say too much with too little. Consequently, few listen. Sometimes the best sermons are the ones left unspoken
Friday, April 9, 2010
FACEBOOK STATUS UPDATES 2
Ok, fess up! How many kids are using their lunch money to bribe the weather man?
I am going on a 7 day Facebook / Twitter fast beginning today. If you really need to reach me send an e-mail.
What if you awoke today and only had those things you had thanked God for yesterday???
"A bell isn't a bell until you ring it. A song isn't a song until you sing it. Love wasn't put in your heart to stay. Love isn't love until you give it away."
The pipes have thawed and I'm having a ball doing laundry! Really. Running water is underestimated.
Build a man a fire he’s warm for a day, set him on fire and he’s warm the rest of his life.
Thought for today: "Everyone has the right to make his own decisions, but none has the right to force his decision on others."
How we wait upon God's timing says a lot about the depth of our trust in God.
"The American Republic will endure until the day Congress discovers that it can bribe the public with the public's money." -Alexis de Tocqueville (1805-1859)
"Socialism is a philosophy of failure, the creed of ignorance, and the gospel of envy, its inherent virtue is the equal sharing of misery." -Winston Churchill
A fool's lips bring him strife, and his mouth invites a beating. - Proverbs 18:6
Barna found that more than 6 in 10 born-again Christians say they are customizing their faith, not following any one church's theology. "Americans are increasingly comfortable picking and choosing what they deem to be helpful and accurate theological views and have become comfortable discarding the rest of the teachings in the Bible," the report notes.
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me six times, and I must need medication.
"Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair"
Kyndall's guinea died today at about 4:30. When I told her tonight, she asked if I did CPR.
I am going on a 7 day Facebook / Twitter fast beginning today. If you really need to reach me send an e-mail.
What if you awoke today and only had those things you had thanked God for yesterday???
"A bell isn't a bell until you ring it. A song isn't a song until you sing it. Love wasn't put in your heart to stay. Love isn't love until you give it away."
The pipes have thawed and I'm having a ball doing laundry! Really. Running water is underestimated.
Build a man a fire he’s warm for a day, set him on fire and he’s warm the rest of his life.
Thought for today: "Everyone has the right to make his own decisions, but none has the right to force his decision on others."
How we wait upon God's timing says a lot about the depth of our trust in God.
"The American Republic will endure until the day Congress discovers that it can bribe the public with the public's money." -Alexis de Tocqueville (1805-1859)
"Socialism is a philosophy of failure, the creed of ignorance, and the gospel of envy, its inherent virtue is the equal sharing of misery." -Winston Churchill
A fool's lips bring him strife, and his mouth invites a beating. - Proverbs 18:6
Barna found that more than 6 in 10 born-again Christians say they are customizing their faith, not following any one church's theology. "Americans are increasingly comfortable picking and choosing what they deem to be helpful and accurate theological views and have become comfortable discarding the rest of the teachings in the Bible," the report notes.
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me six times, and I must need medication.
"Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair"
Kyndall's guinea died today at about 4:30. When I told her tonight, she asked if I did CPR.
Thursday, April 1, 2010
Monday, March 22, 2010
"MARCH MADNESS"
This time of year is very exciting for all basketball fans due to the NCAA tournament being played, which is referred to as "March Madness".
For the first time in history there were two (2) different "March Madness" events taking place at the same time. 1. NCAA basketball tournament. 2. The passing of the Health Care Bill in Washington, DC.
ENOUGH SAID - I THINK MADNESS DESCRIBES THE PASSING OF THE HEALTH CARE BILL VERY WELL.
For the first time in history there were two (2) different "March Madness" events taking place at the same time. 1. NCAA basketball tournament. 2. The passing of the Health Care Bill in Washington, DC.
ENOUGH SAID - I THINK MADNESS DESCRIBES THE PASSING OF THE HEALTH CARE BILL VERY WELL.
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
SOUTH CAROLINA BANK & BROKE
Is there a remote chance that our elected officials in South Carolina might be mental????
The following is headline news on WISTV website:
"After intense debate, legislators vote to loan $10M to golf tournament"
This state doesn't have enough money for the basic needs of the residents, but by golly we are going to watch golf.
I guess I had better stop, because my fingers are wanting to type words that would not be appropriate for this blog or anywhere else.
The following is headline news on WISTV website:
"After intense debate, legislators vote to loan $10M to golf tournament"
This state doesn't have enough money for the basic needs of the residents, but by golly we are going to watch golf.
I guess I had better stop, because my fingers are wanting to type words that would not be appropriate for this blog or anywhere else.
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